V12 Buttocks

Now it snows and to prevent slipping on the roads they put down a mixture of salt and sand.  Mmmmm.... salt and sand....

Now the snow melts and the streets become a brown sloshy mess which the pedestrians have to walk through.  I walk through it well enough.  When it's icy on the sidewalks I shorten my steps and quicken my gait, stuff my hands in my pockets, pull my hoodie over my head, adding extra insulation to big fro hair.  If you saw me walking down the street at you, you might think I was crazy with the quick hoppy gait.  Or maybe you might think I was a jedi.  If you asked me where my light saber was, I'd tell you it was at home in the fridge.

I was standing on a street corner waiting for the light to change when a big truck pulled up beside me.  The truck had a rumbly engine, which caused me to rumble my buttocks.  My butt is no V12, but for a few seconds there at the stop light I thought it was, and when the light changed I took off, imagining I would make the screeching sound cars make when they take off.  Boy was I disappointed.  I nearly tripped and died because of my displaced sense of reality and over confidence of the power of my buttocks.