Listen to Me Whistle

I'm tired of explaining who I am and why I can't die or won't die.  I'm a hybrid.  Part human, part wolf.

So am I.  I'm a vampire.  My fangs come out.

So do mine that's why I got them pulled.
Do you know who kesha is?

No.

She is the oldest living person on earth. 
I am 649 years old.

Like the lottery.
I have to use the can.

Do you like this song?

What is it?

It's the soundtrack to the Lost Boys.  Let me whistle it for you.

I can hear it fine.

(She whistles it anyway.)

Your bag is really heavy.  Is there beer in it?

There will be.
 There are too many spirits in here.  It's making me nervous.  I think I will hyperventilate now.

Ok.
Do you know that I'm pregnant.

How lucky.

My children are also pregnant.  So they will be older than their aunt.

That is really weird.

Have you ever wondered when you see me, why I never go out unsuited?  It's because I'm a vampire.

I know, you told me already.  Have you seen my teeth?  Shoong.
It's so cold in here.

Listen to me whistle.

No, please.

I am kesha.  In me resides the immortal.  I'm sick of it.  I will let my body eat away.  I just want to die.  I've seen so much.  I just want it to end.

There there.

I'll call you my stalker.

Why?

You found me all ways from Wednesday.  You found me in the hospital.
 You can be my daughter.

I'd rather  be your friend.

You can be my daughter, and I appreciate all that you've done for me.

Thanks.
There there.

This baby inside me will be the death of me.  But then I can finally rest, and pass onto her the disease of immortality.

Wanna come with me for a smoke.

Yes.
I am not crazy.  I'm the oldest woman alive, and there is a war.  I am not crazy.  Didn't you say you had to pee.  Well go then, and when you come back let's have a smoke.

Ok.

Pray. Pray.  Will the Great Father accept me into heaven?  It's a slow and painful death.  Why is he doing this to me.  Papa?  Papa?

Yes?

I love you.

I love you, too.

Listen to me whistle.

No, please.

You won't steal my sunglasses, even though they suit you.